For better digestion I drink beer.
Loss of appetite, I drink white wine, at
low blood pressure red wine, at high
blood pressure cognac and when I got a cold
or I’m chilled, I take Slivovitz.

And when do you drink water?
I have never had such a serious illness!

Deception of the Day:

I called a seer, she

“hello, who is calling”?

So I hang up imediately! Did not show confidence, unreliable

She:
“HONEY, I CHEATED YOU.”

He:
“ME TOO”

She:
“APRIL 1st”

HE:
“I JUNE 12”

EMERGENCY

An electrician arrives at the transplant-department of the hospital,

looks at the patients connected to several types of machines, and shouts:

– Take a deep breath: I’m going to change the fuse.

Doctor:
“Leave the beer for the next 2 weeks to see if the complaints pass,
then we know if it is the alcohol.”

I:
“Or I just drink the double to see if the symptoms get worse?”

The three beers!

Every Friday, at 8:00 p.m., the guy would go to a bar and order 3 beers at the same time. He took the first, the second and the third, paid the bill, got up and left.
And it was always like this. Always at 8:00 p.m.

On a certain Friday the waiter, already intrigued by it, asked the man,
“Excuse my curiosity, but why do you drink 3 beers every Friday at the same time?”

And he answered:
“Because I have two brothers and we live very far from each other.” So, every Friday at 8:00 p.m., everyone goes into a bar and asks for 3 beers.
We take one for each of us. It’s our way of staying in touch and thinking of each other …

One fine Friday, the guy walks into the bar and the waiter asks,
“Three beers as usual?”

“No. Only two.”

The waiter stiffened. One of his brothers died, he thinks. Half-unhandy, brings the 2 beers and asks the man:
– Excuse me friend, but … it’s always 3 beers … .. Has anything happened to any of your brothers, has anyone died?

And the guy:
– No, they’re all well … I have cirrhosis and I stopped drinking!

little failure

A stranger comes along the bridal procession of the wedding party and says to someone standing next to him: so, that bride is not so handsome, ugly?

Hey, watch your words, that’s my daughter!

Oh, ok, I’m sorry, I did not know you were the father!

I am not the father idiot, I am the mother!!!